If you were able to take a poll of happily married couples and the atmosphere, location and other details of when they became engaged, the variety might be pretty overwhelming. But one thing that will jump out is that you could divide the ways people get engaged into two categories. Category #1 are spontaneous moments of overwhelming romance and passion when he popped the question. Category #2 are engagements that were carefully prepared for so it was clear that the moment was planned and thought through and carried out with the precision of a military invasion.

by MarieWilson

If you were able to take a poll of happily married couples and the atmosphere, location and other details of when they became engaged, the variety might be pretty overwhelming. But one thing that will jump out is that you could divide the ways people get engaged into two categories. Category #1 are spontaneous moments of overwhelming romance and passion when he popped the question. Category #2 are engagements that were carefully prepared for so it was clear that the moment was planned and thought through and carried out with the precision of a military invasion.

If you can keep the excitement of a spontaneous proposal with the benefits of advance preparation, it really will be a proposal she will never forget. Clearly the emotion and romance of a proposal that just happens is the stuff of memories and legend. But if you already know you are going to ask her to marry you and you want to know in advance how you are going to do it so you don't blow it, advance preparation is a must.

When planning the big night you will step from the world of bachelorhood to engagement, the basics are important. And the basics include the actual words of your proposal of marriage to your girl. The default is the tried and true, "Will you marry me". So you can always fall back to that in a pinch. The other extreme that you see sometimes in movies are guys who have a speech that goes on and on and on before finally just telling your girl you want her to be your wife. So don't overlook the actual words you want to say when you are planning the date, whether the ring will be part of the surprise and the dozens of other details of this night of nights.

That element of surprise is a big decision because if she is ready for the question, that is a different scenario entirely than if you create a romantic situation that overwhelms her completely. If you decide you always wanted to do the kneeling on a pillow and presenting the ring with the question approach, that's a wonderful moment but she will know immediately what is up.

But keep in mind that this will be a moment she will cherish for the rest of her life and the story of the night you and she pledged to become lovers for life will be repeated in stories to friends and even to your kids and grandkids for as long as you two are together. Keep in mind also that you will probably be a little nervous so you don't want your planned speech to be so flowery and elegant that it isn't even how you talk.

If the way you speak your love for your girl at this special moment are well selected, it will be a moment that will take your relationship to a deeper place, which is what you want. Now, don't be surprised if emotions well up when its time to ask the big question because you obviously care deeply for her and its going to come out. And when that happens, a simple four word question can turn into a lengthy bearing of your soul. Think about what you should do if you feel the words pouring out because when she figures out that this is "it", she is going to be dying for you to get to the big question. So writing out what you want to say is a good way to prepare something to fall back on when the time is here.

Don't be afraid to be creative and just put the romance you feel in your own words because that will be just as poetic as anything Shakespeare could write to your girl. Don't feel that you have to go with the standard old ways of asking her. You can make your approach to popping the question with something more personal such as "I want the happiness you give me every day to last forever when you become my wife." By making your proposal distinctively you, it truly will be a proposal she will never forget.

You are being smart by starting this early to think about how you want to say those words that will make the love of your life your forever girl. And because you took the time to make sure the words you use will be ones she can cherish in her heart, you are also assuring that even if her answer is just one word, it will be that one word you really want to hear which is "YES".

SUTRA Magazine: